Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Last night I was talking to a friend about nudity.
You know a lot of people have nightmares about saying a speech in their underwear in front of the whole class, or going on a date with the head cheerleader and they stand up to go to the washroom and she's laughing at your weak, bottomless form.
But when you draw, write, blog, etc...
...there is a different kind of naked.
A scarier one.
We all get sad sometimes, mad sometimes, have embarrassing things happen, sometimes even when no one is around we still blush, and imagine if somebody found out.
But a lot of my heroes, my favourite artists, guys like Seth, Chester Brown, Jeffrey Brown, Kevin Smith, Dallas Green...they don't just forget their pants on the way to the washroom while they're on their date with Cindy finally, or go to the auditorium to say their speech about lava flow and realize everyone can see their business...they show that business, at it's weakest, at it's coldest, at it's saddest...to the world...
...for a living.
I always wanted to be so naked, so okay with it.
But some nights, nights like tonight, I feel so down and even at 3 in the morning with nobody awake/walking by, I'll close my door, thinking someone will figure me out.
Someone in my family is going to peak in and be like, "Dyl is sad, caught him!"
I guess I'm working on taking my clothes off, my layers of protection off, so I can grow as a person and as an artist.
As a cartoonist, aspiring, failing or otherwise, you go "I hope this is funny" or "I hope this makes sense" or "this means a lot to me, but if no one likes it I'll just play it cool like whatever."...
...you fear putting some part where your character is rendered impotent one night with the hot girl because people might go, "Ha, bet that really happened to him.", or you fear putting some part that references Biker Mice From Mars because you think people are gonna go "WTF? Never heard of it."
...it hits you on all levels, all day, every day.
You hear a good joke and you look around, see who else is laughing at something that might be racist or dumb or childish....
...but this little post is my first step towards laughing louder, being bolder...
...putting on a weak front, instead of a strong one, because sometimes, as strange as it sounds, that's the boldest person you can be.
Oh, and the picture, it's a little artwork I did today for fun, for me, and took a photo of.
When I was a kid I'd always love getting out Sharpies and without pencilling first drawing something up quick and then colouring it in just as fast with my Crayola marker 16-pack.
So today, feeling nostalgic, I did just that, and then moments later, feeling bold, i posted it, not a masterpiece, just a good feeling.
at 10:11 PM